The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I'm also not blonde.

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done, ask a woman.

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Send this to five bright women you know and make their day!

Copyright Family Guardian Fellowship